Can I Love Me?

Can I love me?
Will I finally be free?
From my own imprisonment
My shackles
My confinement
I turned myself in
Declared all my own sins
To Him I did repent
My time in Hell spent
Despair
Came and went
So why can I not still love me?
Know I deserve all life’s pleasantries
Just like everyone else
Whom I love
So why don’t I love myself?
Underserving of good health
Huddled beneath my half filled bookshelf
Feel like these are just the cards I was dealt
That’s okay
Cause I remembered this day
When I signed the contract
And let my soul fly this way
Maybe if you let me stay
Then maybe I would not feel this way
But how can I love you
When I don’t even want my dreams to come true
When I’m fine being blue
I can’t hear your dreams when you tell them
And have no vision for when
We could be a happy pair
Our love all around us in the air
Hearts in each other’s hands
Held with care
There is no way this can be
Cause I still can’t love me
Even though I have all the reasons
Just a slight issue with the seasons
But I can make you laugh
And everyone else
Sometimes even myself
I can ski
And apparently know how to live free
Still
This is not enough for me
Cause I’m still stuck on something from the past
Still think it is about whether or not it will last
Nothing ever seems good enough
And I always try and look tough
But look where it has got thee
In love with no on
Especially not in love with me