Are You Mad at Me?

Are you mad at me?
If so
Please say so
I will take it gladly
Cause I am tired of being the only one
Sick and tired of what I’ve done
Tired of pretending
I am happy with this ending
I’m not
Not at all
Totally ready to fall
I am the one who is mad the most
Keep declining invitations from the heavenly host
Keep skipping church
And ignore redemption
Cause in my eyes I am not worth the attention
Not even worthy of mention
The only thing I do
Hesitation
Mad because I wasted my chance on love
Mad because I take these drugs
Mad I suck at dating
Mad I spend all my time contemplating
No time acting
Just getting upset
Never post pictures captioned #blessed
Cause I feel cursed
I feel like I am the worst
The Devil runs and hides from me
How can this be?
What did I do to thee?
For you to be so mad at me
But baby I know you are not
I know you think I am hot
I know you love and cherish me
So why is that not enough for me not to be mad at me?
Why do I obsess  and torture myself?
Why strain my mental health?
Cause I can’t blame you
Or anyone else
And I am afraid of what comes next
The day I reach success
The day I can smile and receive compliments
The day our kiss is holy sacrament
On that day
It will be occasion to cry
Cause I will kiss that mean part of me goodbye
Then I might realize
The only reason I think you’re mad at me
Is because I was the one who was mad at me
Then I can be that person we both love me to be
The beautiful, compassionate, radiant me
The one that is reflecting thee