Jealously

I saw another one of your movies just last night
Thought it was perfect for the season
Just right
Then when I slept
Of you I dreamt
Not much of a surprise
Can’t remember enough to summarize
Just you
And your name in flashing lights
An indication of my plight
My jealously now in plain sight
Not because you are someone else’s wife
No
I am jealous of your life
I heard you say you would do this once before
Become what you are
Soon perhaps your name will be in a star
On Hollywood Boulevard
And I’ll probably still be driving my mom’s car
Still going to the same bars
Saying next year will be the year
Maybe I’ll be this
Or I am looking into that
Still unsure
Still caught looking back
I wish I could be like you
That is jealously too
Because you’ve got it all together
You live where there is beautiful weather
And a beautiful man
And I am still wanting to understand
How am I part of the Lord’s plan
How can I be all I am?
And how can I be part of the world
Just not one who feels damned
Cursed
For my journey lately has seemed on Earth
There was a time
When I took pleasure in every day
And within myself I was happy to stay
Perhaps it changed when I went to work for pay
Maybe when you and I parted ways
The one thing I know I can say
Is I am jealous of you
Because of who you are
And what you do
Because you’ve gone forward
Keep traveling upward and onward
And I feel like I’ve only been going downward
Too many visits to the psych ward
Too many days at my desk feeling bored
So much art work
Most of it just stored
Never even came close to an award
Instead of feeling jealous
Why not be inspired?
Why not also desire to be admired?
To see my name in print too
In the credits
So all can know what I do
Maybe then I’ll stop feeling so jealous of you
Maybe then
I’ll be in charge of my life again
And maybe then
We can become friends again