Everything But U

There are plenty of things that are going my way
Got a raise in pay
Spent the weekend at my friends wedding day
But each day
I do still pray
That I may not feel this way
Although it is all in my favor
Victory
I cannot savor
I just feel left out of the party
On the outside looking in
Still feel like I am waiting to begin
Wondering when
Her love will come back in
I should not even care
Or worry
Say things so people will feel sorry
Really it’s great
A job
And a million hobbies
Up late in fancy hotel lobbies
Dressed up and acting really snobby
I guess I also like quiet nights in
And really long conversations
Deep questions
And spiritual contemplation
I tell myself
If I had you as my reflection
I would always want to gaze on my complexion
Because it would really be you
And I know you love me too
I think then it is true
It doesn’t mean anything
Without you
And I am not even sure who
Because all the love in my life I once thought
Have all ended the same
Shot
Gone
Left
And I write these words
To heal my heart
Few people heard
Assume I have it all
That is true
I do
But I hardly hear the question
What’s on your mind?
It’s really been a long time
Haven’t shown someone my dark side
Without them leaving
Running away to hide
Why don’t you want me by your side?
I leave it to you to decide
In the meantime
I will continue to shine