If my Heart is Broken

If my heart is broken
And my eyes are closed
It is impossible to have my mind open

I know this is not what I want
I know this is not what the world needs
But right now it is how I feel
Can’t get my mind off of it, it is the deal

How do I connect with someone who doesn’t understand what I say
Even though we speak the same language
Stand in the same places
Look the same, both have pretty faces

When I see, when I open my eyes
I see right through you
And feel hurt inside
Not from what’s in you
But what’s in me
It’s my hurt, it’s my pain
That I see in you
Makes me feel like I need to change

The change is simple:
Have known for years now
Starts at the beginning
Starts with my heart
It must be open
It must be true
There are things that I cannot undo
Can’t change the past
Can’t change that certain things didn’t last

I can change how I feel about it
Choose to live in love
Never doubt it

I try, I’ve tried
And each time I do I feel denied
Not just cause she said no
But cause of the consequence
Frequent meetings
Prescription drugs, an escaped sentence

They have me shackled
Chained up like a menace
Feared and ridiculed
Laughed at
Called a fool
My only problem, my deficit:
I feel love
I know it’s pure divine power
I want to scream it out loud and hand everyone flowers

I can’t say this without a raised eyebrow
Without assumptions, judgements, and speculations
Please wait for the doctor here’s your prescription

How can I not be this?
This is who I am
Why must I have to try so hard
Just for you to understand

I try to be open, but just keep getting hurt
The problem is, without openness,
The hurt is worse
Loneliness, sadness, and emptiness

I can’t feel love
Cause then I’m crazy,
But if I don’t feel love I am not me
Just a shell, broken, hurt, lonely and empty

Why is this what they want me to be?
Please Lord set me free
Bring me back to your dwelling
I remember the last time, 
But need some more telling
Instructions that are crystal clear
Bring Earth a bit more near
Closer to you and your simple instructions:
Love without restrictions
For all, in all directions
Basic formula:
Open heart
Open eyes
Open Mind

I would like for my heart to shine