If I - I Will

If I call
If I write
Perhaps you might
Want to hear
What I have to say
Perhaps you will accept my invitation today
Perhaps you will stay
Or perhaps it will not mean anything
You will stay pretty
And I will stay me
Which I guess means ugly
Probably because I am lonely
Without you
And a long way from my homies
Perhaps I just don't like being wrong
Can’t stand you’re not into my heart song
Even when it is you that makes my heart beat so strong
I do think we belong
Perhaps you feel differently
Enjoy our friendship in its simplicity
No need to confuse our love
With relational complexity
And emotional irregularity
Now we only love one another
The way a sister loves a brother
And a son loves a mother
But I do not feel this way with others
Got more than gaga eyes for you
I want to find out who you are
I want to know your star
Drive in your car
I want to Scourt you to the bar
And burn up the dance floor
More importantly I want to walk through your soul’s door
See all of you
And want to know more
Want to know who you were before
And want to be there in the future
When you reveal your true divine nature
Become an even more beautiful creature
When you are the guest speaker featured
I will be in the front row
And no one needs to know
What we will do after the show
Or where we will go
Together alone
Is my favorite time
When you can relax and unwind
And I can know you are mine
I am already yours
Guess for now I am busy with chores
Although I cannot take you to the store
My heart is your hostage
Willingly
I hope you do see
Whether or not we are meant to be
I want you with me
So we can fly off into eternity

Pretty Things

I like pretty things
Things like you
Things like me
I like your eyes
And I like your size
If someone asks
You are more than a prize
Not only do I idolize
Or spend time with you on my mind
Fantasize
It may have taken me too long to realize
That special feeling inside
I was probably too worried about what I would prophecize
You are a pretty thing
More like a beautiful being
Cause your inside is light
And your outside is out of sight
Now I just want to be right
Cause I am tired of feeling wrong in this life
Rather kiss goodnight
Do our best not to fight
Right now all I have are my wishes
And remembrances of our kisses
What can I do for you?
How about your dishes?
I hope you really like what I bought you for Christmas
And now all I can say is this
Some words on a page
But when you said sweet things
I should of said the same
Not just game
Now I am the one to blame
You already gave me your heart to claim
And I didn’t take it
Tried to fake it
Couldn’t keep myself together
And had to go away to get better
We ended up in different weather
To me you look no different
Still a pretty thing
But now I am the one who feels changed
Can no longer hide
My mind made up
But it is my heart who did decide
Is it to late to get back on this ride?
Can we be pretty things?
Side by side
Can I be better than I was the last time?
May we be together and romanticize
You make me feel alive
And us I no longer want to trivialize
Or want to deny
It’s you I do realize
That makes me feel so good inside

Divine 9 Valentine

Today is the day to celebrate love
To tell someone they are the one
Go on a date
Celebrate
Honor one another
I desire a date
And that is fine
But I got more than one I would call mine
If I spent all year
A day for each one
There would still not be enough time
For me to see them all
Because I give love to everyone
Yet truly to no one
Watching music videos
Instead of buying a rose
Instead of taking her to the finest shows
Tell her how she glows
How she is beautiful
And oh so wonderful
Your wish may I fulfill
I submit to your will
But still
I cannot commit
Keep choosing wrong
Keep hoping for love long gone
And it’s my fault
I was the first to say halt
Didn’t notice loves invitation
Wanted my mind to give an explanation
But love is the arena of the heart
I guess I keep missing that part
That is why there is no start
Perhaps now
Perhaps on this day
I can remember St. Valentines game to play
Worry little and just say
I love you
And know my words are true
This time I want to see it through
Even if as only friends
I will still love you until the end
Postcards and letters I will send
My feelings I will not pretend
My aching heart will mend
By your hand
This is the Lord’s plan
Perfect in its creation
Without limitation
No more trepidation
I walk towards you with love
Together we are not alone
Together we are one
Our connection never undone

33

Thought I had become an adult
Learned the lessons
Seen it all
Ready for my new life sessions
But I was wrong
My new life
Not yet begun
Still three steps left
Still have not arrived yet
Then Ascension will be set
A triangle of equal sides
Then another
Together they combine
And then divide
Been on both
The light and dark sides
No matter what always try
And when you say goodbye
Know that hello is just around the bend
Always a beginning
Always an end
Now, no time to pretend
Conscious life now begin
Love thyself love thy friends
33
On this day
At the pinnacle
Bathed in golden rays
In awe of the spectacle
In wonder of the sensation
Not in need of explanation
For it is Divine satisfaction
Christened on this day
Enlightened
And expanded on this day
Now my experience in learning is complete
My task not to repeat
But start anew
With these glorious new views
Thoughts of you
Plenty of others too
And a desire to be true
To me
So I can be
The best version of me
The one that’s
33

Let's be Friends

Let’s be friends
Cause you make me laugh
My feelings for you always last
Let’s be friends
Let’s see each other at our best
And know when it’s our worst
My life you do bless
This I do not have to guess
When I wrong I ask forgiveness
Let’s be friends
Cause you’re beautiful
And we look good as two
Your wit is sensational
Your smarts are unbelievable
And your smile
Radiant
Not just shades of grey
All colors gradient
I am going to make you a special pendant
Let’s be friends
Let’s go out on dates
Let’s paint the town
Make people wonder, what’s wrong
Cause we’re not around
Let’s be friends
Let’s go to ball games
And eat S’mores by campfire flames
No need to explain
Usually we just feel the same
Laugh
And make jokes
Listen to each other tell of their path
Together we could teach a class
Make sure all the students pass
So yeah
Let’s be friends
Cause we are good at what we are
A dynamic duo at the bar
Someone to count on
A friend to be there
People who care
We always love to share
A friend to spend time with
The only thing that we miss...
Is not a trip to the store thrift
Something that does not shift
Is a great and wonderful myth
One that ends when it is meant to
Until then
I love what you do
And I love you
So it end’s
Let’s be friends

A Walk

Can we talk?
Can we walk?
Smoke a cigarette
As we stroll around the block
Say all you want
Please don’t stop
I am just glad you invited me
Cause you
Well I like what I see
And when I am around you
It is pretty easy to be
I can say whatever
It could be true
Or total make believe
But I doubt you’ll leave
Cause you invited me here
And asked me to hear
All your dreams and fantasies
And practical things
What’s up with you and me
And where will we be next year
No longer here
No longer together
With the same school colors
We will be somewhere else
Living with others
Off in the world
Underneath the great wave’s curl
Even though we are both leaving
No need for grieving
Cause when we were here
And together
There was nothing better
I wish you well
Where ever it is you go to dwell
Whomever of this you do tell
Even after our final farewell
I will keep this moment
This time
As both yours and mine
A special thing
A unique encounter
A bond
That will always live on
Because I will make it so
I will be forever glad to know
For I can always recall our time
Walking beneath the street lamps glow
And trees all in a row
Anytime we are both back in town
I hope I can call you and ask
Want to take a walk around
It can be that time again
Talk as friends
Walk as partners
See each other as lovers
Nostalgia be the lens of how we see one another
May it be this way
And not an other

Grace

I missed again
Wrote what I felt
But I guess I should not of pressed send
It was indeed the end
Can I learn grace?
Can I stop tears from streaming down my face?
Just funny I guess
Cause I thought I knew my heart space
Now I feel time spent
Might have been a waste
Although 
I did always feel great
No one always gets what they want
Even me
I guess it was just make believe
Cause in reality
I can’t seem to get it right
Try as I might
I just seem to suck at this life
Can’t keep a girlfriend
Forget a wife
Can’t get a good job
Or stay healthy
I definitely will never be wealthy
Got collectors calling constantly
It doesn’t really bother me
But it helps me see
This world is not for me
So please let me escape gracefully
And peacefully
If you come for me
I will probably scream and shout
But if I can learn grace
Maybe I can find out what this world is about
Cause right now I cannot figure it out
Feel lost without a map
Stuck in a horrible trap
Waiting for something
Anything
To take me away
Anything
Other then this sky of grey