My Anniversary

The day is almost here
When I get to start a whole new year
Hopefully things become more clear
Take one more step near
Not to my end
But towards you my dear friend
Presents you can send
Rather I would like to mend
What’s dissonant between us
Why there is a lack of trust
You in my life is a must
This year that is my only wish
Already have everything else in this world to have
Finally have some work I like
Got a brand new bike
Keys to a new apartment
That’s all mine
Critically acclaimed art
It’s about time
A psychic told me to spread my wings
And let my heart shine
I want to
I will show you my insides
Let you see everything
Then you can decide what is missing
Us two kissing
You and me singing
Maybe just a beginning
Because there already was an ending
I did a lot of pretending
To how I felt
Worse to what I told you
Skipped everything about how I love what you do
To me
So now on my own anniversary
I’ll be on my own
No one to blame but myself for my misery
Nothing left to do but just be
I want to write my own symphony
And play it for you
Hope you like it
Say it’s a hit
Now just this last bit
Without you it’s just another year
Without you I just grow older
And without you
My heart even colder
I guess I cannot get all I wish for
But you’re the last thing
May I wish just once more?

Believe Me

When I say nice things
You say stop
When you dream of your future
I know I am not
The man you see in your mental picture
Even though for me you are my heart fixture
I don’t wish I didn’t feel this way
I just wish there was something I could say
Or do
To show you
How much you mean to me
You are my everything
And maybe I could of told you sooner
When you were willing to listen
When you gave me a chance
But now I am just left wishing
And it is you I am missing
I broke your trust I am sure
Perhaps your heart
But if I broke it apart
May I be the on to put it back together
I know I am better
I promise I will feel this way whenever
And I will stand beside you forever
Will you let me?
Will you give me a second chance?
Will you think of me when you want to go dance
Will you not be afraid to show me that loving glance
Those inviting eyes
Your lips touching mine
No longer interested in just some time
Not just a night or two
I want to see this through
Even if you decide that you don’t want to
I will know I did and do love you
I’ll take that
But baby please do not think of it as taking me back
Cause I am not who I was then
Now I am a better friend
And I wish to be more to you than that in the end
I want us to finally begin
I’ll be honest and upfront
Be the one to give you the key to my apartment
Tell you you’re always welcome
And this key is for more then the front door
It is also the key to my heart
Please let me know when we can start
And believe this part
You + me
equals everything
And my love for you will last for all eternity

Your Soul

Before we met
I learned your name
Saw it each day
An empty office
No body to place inside
Only could wonder where you did reside
And the journey of your life’s ride
One day you appeared
Just sitting there
I said hello
And tried not to stare
Hopefully I complimented your gorgeous hair
It was not long before I did not need to wonder where you lived
You invited me there
Told me about you
I let you share
And told you some about me
Wish I could of said it more clearly
Wish that it was only you that I did see
But I was too busy feeling sorry for me
And taking advantage of those that wanted me
Thankfully
I found myself at your place plenty
And learned it was not only your name that was lovely
It was all of you
What you do
What you did
Where you’ve been
Now
And then
I was sure I was falling for you
Even though with most else I did not have a clue
Confused
Unsure what to do
But in the moments when it was just me and you
I glimpsed your soul
I saw right through
No longer needed to guess who
I knew
You were even more beautiful then I had imagined
Far more dazzling than a beauty queen of a pageant
So perfect
So Divine
So out of reach
Not to be mine
Not right now
Not this time
And although
What you do to me is make my heart shine
You love to remind
I am not welcome inside your holy shrine
You and I are not to combine
Remember or not
Whether you intended or not
I caught a glimpse of your soul
Within it I wanted to go
Deep into your waters I wanted to flow
Your most true self I wanted to know
Together I wanted to grow
I must remember then it was I who said no
And other things I wish to change
Now I wish my feelings could rearrange
But I guess my soul remembers when it met yours
Hoped for a meeting behind closed doors
Just the two of us
Where again our souls can touch
Won’t ask for too much
Just your sweetness and such
Make you believe in my trust
And feel the fire of my love
Until we both combust

The Wind

I am the wind
I am the sun
I am the moon
And all the stars in the sky
I can swim
I can fly
I can be by myself
But I would rather be by your side
I will be your guide
You need not be my bride
All I am
I did decide
And in this time many things I have realized
Been in touch with my spiritual side
And lived in 3-D plenty of time
Confused by this life of mine
It is the one I want
It is the one I have chosen
But my dreams have still not been woven
Just been floating in the wind
Or crumpled up ideas in the recycle bin
Still feel like I am waiting to win
Even though that is not what this is about
Not worthy money in any amount
Not about accomplishments you can count
Mostly about how I feel
Like the wind
Sometimes a gale
Other times just a light breeze
I want to please
You
I guess at times I forgot about me
That is just me putting it simply
Trying to see things differently
Trying not to be so windy
Rather be a tree
And sway in the breeze gracefully
With a strong trunk
And deep roots
Lot’s of seedlings
And lots of fruit
Although I am everything
And lived through all
All of creation
All forms of manifestation
I still have things to learn
Still don’t have relief from a heart that burns
If I try to blow it out
It only blows stronger
And the distance between grows longer
To reach where I want
I will be what I am
A wind that does haunt
A star that does shine
A moon that does glow
All of this
And so much more to know

If I - I Will

If I call
If I write
Perhaps you might
Want to hear
What I have to say
Perhaps you will accept my invitation today
Perhaps you will stay
Or perhaps it will not mean anything
You will stay pretty
And I will stay me
Which I guess means ugly
Probably because I am lonely
Without you
And a long way from my homies
Perhaps I just don't like being wrong
Can’t stand you’re not into my heart song
Even when it is you that makes my heart beat so strong
I do think we belong
Perhaps you feel differently
Enjoy our friendship in its simplicity
No need to confuse our love
With relational complexity
And emotional irregularity
Now we only love one another
The way a sister loves a brother
And a son loves a mother
But I do not feel this way with others
Got more than gaga eyes for you
I want to find out who you are
I want to know your star
Drive in your car
I want to Scourt you to the bar
And burn up the dance floor
More importantly I want to walk through your soul’s door
See all of you
And want to know more
Want to know who you were before
And want to be there in the future
When you reveal your true divine nature
Become an even more beautiful creature
When you are the guest speaker featured
I will be in the front row
And no one needs to know
What we will do after the show
Or where we will go
Together alone
Is my favorite time
When you can relax and unwind
And I can know you are mine
I am already yours
Guess for now I am busy with chores
Although I cannot take you to the store
My heart is your hostage
Willingly
I hope you do see
Whether or not we are meant to be
I want you with me
So we can fly off into eternity

Pretty Things

I like pretty things
Things like you
Things like me
I like your eyes
And I like your size
If someone asks
You are more than a prize
Not only do I idolize
Or spend time with you on my mind
Fantasize
It may have taken me too long to realize
That special feeling inside
I was probably too worried about what I would prophecize
You are a pretty thing
More like a beautiful being
Cause your inside is light
And your outside is out of sight
Now I just want to be right
Cause I am tired of feeling wrong in this life
Rather kiss goodnight
Do our best not to fight
Right now all I have are my wishes
And remembrances of our kisses
What can I do for you?
How about your dishes?
I hope you really like what I bought you for Christmas
And now all I can say is this
Some words on a page
But when you said sweet things
I should of said the same
Not just game
Now I am the one to blame
You already gave me your heart to claim
And I didn’t take it
Tried to fake it
Couldn’t keep myself together
And had to go away to get better
We ended up in different weather
To me you look no different
Still a pretty thing
But now I am the one who feels changed
Can no longer hide
My mind made up
But it is my heart who did decide
Is it to late to get back on this ride?
Can we be pretty things?
Side by side
Can I be better than I was the last time?
May we be together and romanticize
You make me feel alive
And us I no longer want to trivialize
Or want to deny
It’s you I do realize
That makes me feel so good inside

Divine 9 Valentine

Today is the day to celebrate love
To tell someone they are the one
Go on a date
Celebrate
Honor one another
I desire a date
And that is fine
But I got more than one I would call mine
If I spent all year
A day for each one
There would still not be enough time
For me to see them all
Because I give love to everyone
Yet truly to no one
Watching music videos
Instead of buying a rose
Instead of taking her to the finest shows
Tell her how she glows
How she is beautiful
And oh so wonderful
Your wish may I fulfill
I submit to your will
But still
I cannot commit
Keep choosing wrong
Keep hoping for love long gone
And it’s my fault
I was the first to say halt
Didn’t notice loves invitation
Wanted my mind to give an explanation
But love is the arena of the heart
I guess I keep missing that part
That is why there is no start
Perhaps now
Perhaps on this day
I can remember St. Valentines game to play
Worry little and just say
I love you
And know my words are true
This time I want to see it through
Even if as only friends
I will still love you until the end
Postcards and letters I will send
My feelings I will not pretend
My aching heart will mend
By your hand
This is the Lord’s plan
Perfect in its creation
Without limitation
No more trepidation
I walk towards you with love
Together we are not alone
Together we are one
Our connection never undone